Stay
by KittyKatt357
Summary: Nico is finally numb to his emotions, but for how long? Is feeling a good thing or a bad one? Percy has a lot of work cut out for him, who knows if he'll accomplish anything.


A/N: Okay, so this was inspired by Jessica Nash's cover of Mayday Parade's Stay after reading (way to) many Percico fanfics. I really suggest listening to it while reading. You can find it on YouTube. **Prepare for lots of feels, some foul language (their angry teenage boys, what do you expect?) and possible triggers. **Don't say I didn't warn you.

* * *

Sixteen year old Nico di Angelo sat in the Hades cabin completely calm. Well, he wasn't calm, necessarily; he was numb, but the numb wasn't as painful as it was in his childhood. He had been "numb" quite often when he was younger, shoving his emotions into a deep, dark corner of his heart to be ignored (and hopefully to die there.) Now though, it was much different. He didn't have the overwhelming guilt that weighed down on his subconscious, or the nauseating anxiousness, or the dizzying confliction. His emotions, for the first time in six years, were calm.

The fact that his emotions were calm was not necessarily a good thing. He wasn't feeling _anything_ at this point, and he wasn't sure he wouldn't rather be dealing the pain of feeling to many emotions at once than feeling nothing at all.

The reason for the sudden settling of his emotions was also the initial cause for their riot. As a child he'd stupidly fallen in love with someone he could never have, not that he'd realized it at the time. It had taken him a year or two to figure out that he'd even fallen in love in the first place, but I digress. After six long years of pining after a man (yes, _man_, it had taken longer to come to terms with that little detail than it had for him to realize that he was feeling the romantic version of love thanks to his upbringing in the 1930s) that only saw him as, _at most_, a little brother, and who also had a wonderful, beautiful, amazing, smart, heroic girlfriend, he finally got him…sort of…kind of…not really.

Sally Jackson – sorry, Blofis – has a heart as open as the sky, and when she'd heard of his seclusion, however self-imposed it may be, she'd insisted that the boy, for that was what he was at the time, stay with her, and her husband, and her son. When Sally Blofis nee Jackson insists on something, you don't tell her no, particularly when her powerful, strong, hero of a son is on your other side with his hand firmly on your shoulder to make sure you don't vanish into the shadows and is going on about how wonderful an idea that is!

That was how Nico di Angelo found himself living with the Blofis-Jackson family even though he had a perfectly habitable cabin (even if he rarely stayed there), a sister (who lived in the Roman camp on the other side of the continent in a full barrack with her boyfriend), a room in his father's palace (even if it was in the Underworld, and was lonely, and was extremely awkward place to be during the winter months), and had been living on his own for four years (even though surviving would be the more accurate term). They would feed him, and clothe him, and give him shelter. The only stipulation was that he would have to attend school.

Percy, of course, agreed to help him catch up on what he had missed in his education. In other words, he would attempt to teach him until Annabeth Chase, a.k.a. the wonderful, beautiful, amazing, smart, heroic girlfriend, stepped in to take over.

Sometimes Nico seriously wondered if he was a masochist because of everything he put himself through.

He'd stayed – honestly, what else was he going to do? – and started school. He sneered (face hidden in the shadows of his hair of course) at every sickly sweet action between Percy and Annabeth when they were supposed to be tutoring him.

A knock sounded from his door. Slowly, he looked at it. Sure, he hadn't been sleeping well (at all), but that was no reason to be imagining people knocking on his door. When the knocking came again, he stood, slowly, and made his way to the door. He blinked at the person standing in front of him when he opened the door, half tempted to pinch himself to wake up. Black hair, tan skin stretched over corded muscles, shining sea-green eyes, everything about Percy Jackson was exactly the same as when Nico had last seen the son of Poseidon.

"Hey," the older teen said nervously.

Nico almost returned the greeting, almost, but then he remembered their last interaction.

_"Please understand if I see you again don't even say hello."_

Nico really couldn't disobey the sea prince, so he only blinked again. Percy shifted awkwardly.

"Um, I thought you might, um," he held up a plain black backpack in explanation.

So that's what it was.

Nico remained silent as he took his bag and thought back to how things had come to be like this.

* * *

It was a normal day with Percy and Nico getting ready for school in their room. It had started with a good natured shove and ended with Nico pinned under Percy. Nico had just stared at him, panting, for a moment before leaning up and kissing him. Percy immediately jolted back.

"What the hell, Nico?" Percy had demanded.

"I'm sorry." Nico tried to say, eyes wide. "I love you" is what came, unbidden, out of his mouth.

Percy pushed away from the younger boy and furiously scrubbed his face.

"Percy, I –" Nico tried to amend.

Percy held up his hand to stop him. His lips were pursed into a thin line.

"I need some time, some space. Please understand if I see you again don't even say hello."

"Percy –"

Percy sighed heavily.

"Don't talk to me, Nico."

Then he'd walked – stalked – out of the room leaving a gaping Nico behind.

"What did I _do_?" he whispered as Paul called for him to hurry up.

When an attempt to approach Percy to apologize later that day was met with a harsh, unforgiving glare, Nico slipped into the first shadow he found and did what he did best: he disappeared.

* * *

Nico began to close the door of his cabin when he was suddenly he met resistance. His eyes snapped to stare at Percy, who was pushing against the door.

"Mom's worried about you." Percy said.

Nico looked at the floor. Sally was such a nice person; he didn't mean to hurt her, but he could tell that he wasn't wanted in that household anymore. It would only make things awkward.

"Nico, why?"

Tartarus black eyes shot up to meet sea-green. On the bright side, the son of Hades wasn't numb anymore. No, now he was angry, which was never a good thing.

"Percy, I'm tired, I'm hung-over; I really don't want to do this right now." he snapped.

Percy frowned.

"You're drinking again." It wasn't a statement, but it wasn't a question.

When Percy had first found out Nico drank, the boy hadn't even turned fifteen yet. Needless to say, Percy was furious.

* * *

Nico had begun drinking when he'd attended a party with Percy earlier that year. Neither new that alcohol would be provided, nor that it would be served in ordinary plastic cups. Once Percy, who had been exposed to the stench of alcohol before, had realized what three-fourths of the drinks were, he had grabbed Nico, who had already had a cup or two or three, and dragged him home, but the damage was done.

Nico would slip out Percy's window and sit on the fire escape up to three times a week to drink whatever alcohol he'd managed to get a hold of and drop the evidence into the conveniently place garbage bin below him.

* * *

One night, Percy had caught him and there had been hell to pay. Thankfully, Percy didn't tell Sally or Paul. He had, however, kept Nico on a tight leash up until…well, until now.

"Alcohol consumption does typically lead to hangovers." Nico snapped.

He tried to close the cabin door again only to have Percy shove his way in. Doing so put Percy less than five inches in front of him. He took several large steps backwards until his legs hit the edge of his bed and he collapsed onto it. Percy gave him a pitying look. Nico hissed at him reaching for the bottle on the table next to him, but Percy got there first. He snatched up the bottle and gave him a glare. Nico disguised his flinch by huffing and flopping back onto the mattress, turning away from the dark haired nuisance (love of his life).

"What do you want, Percy?" Nico didn't give the elder a chance to answer. "If you've come to tell me how disgusting I am, don't bother. I already know. If you've come to tell me what a freak I am, don't bother. I already know. If you've come to tell me that I'm not welcome at your house anymore, don't bother." Nico glared over his shoulder at the man. "I already figured that out."

"Nico," Percy sighed as he sat down next to the Ghost King.

Nico flashed back to when he'd last gotten sick. He'd ignored it and gone to school, but eventually had to go home. Paul had driven him back and, after being reassured that Nico would be fine on his own, he only needed some sleep, had gone back to work.

* * *

"Hey," Percy had said softly when he'd entered their room after coming home from school. Nico had grunted in reply.

"How are you feeling?"

Another grunt. Percy sat down next to him on the bed. Nico was curled up with his back to Percy.

"Do you wanna watch a movie?"

Nico was silent. As there were parent-teacher conferences that night at the school, and Sally had a job of her own, it would be just the two of them for several more hours.

"C'mon, I'll help you to the couch."

Percy held out a hand to Nico, an open invitation to decline if he wanted to. Slowly, Nico sat up and grasped Percy's hand. Percy had gotten Nico situated lying down on the couch, fetched a glass of water for the sick boy, and popped in a movie.

That had been the best day of Nico's life, even if he was sick.

* * *

"I don't think any of that." Percy said.

Nico only grunted in response and he immediately regretted it.

"You're not disgusting. You're not a freak. And you're always welcome at my house."

Nico scoffed.

"You are."

"Yes, because it's so comfortable to be in the same house, the same room, as someone who loves you, but you feel nothing for."

"Nico,"

"Save it, Percy. I'm not as dumb or naïve as you think I am."

It was completely silent for a minute. Maybe, the son of Poseidon would leave now; leave and never approach him again.

"Why did you leave?"

Nico blinked and glanced at Percy.

"What was I supposed to do?"

"Not disappear from school in the middle of the day and never come home? I said give me some time and space, not vanish into thin air! You had us worried sick!"

"You mean Sally…and it's your home, not mine." _Never mine._

Percy spun and glared at him.

"No, I meant exactly what I said. All of us – me, Paul, and mom – have been worried sick. I thought – I worried that –" Percy sighed and scrubbed his face, reaching up to ruffle his hair. "And what do you mean; it's not your home?"

"I don't have a home, Percy. I never have, never will. Have you already forgotten? Children of Hades just don't belong."

Percy growled.

"I have had enough of your pity party."

"Then leave. I didn't ask you to stay. I didn't ask you to come in either."

"You can't do this to yourself, Nico."

"Do what? It's not like I've tried to commit suicide or anything." _Yet._

Percy gaped at Nico for a full minute. (Ironically, the expression caused him to resemble a fish.)

"Don't say stuff like that, Nico."

Nico only shrugged.

"I hate seeing you like this."

"There's nothing you can do."

"Yes, there is."

Nico rolled over to look a Percy and froze at the sudden touching of soft lips against his. It took all of five seconds for Nico to react. He shoved Percy so hard he tumbled to the floor.

"Don't fuck with me, Jackson." he snarled with a vicious glare.

"Ouch. I –"

"I have spent six years pining after you. Six years watching your back from the shadows, watching you fight, watching you risk your life, watching you fall in love and get the happy ending I know I'll never get. Always watching, always protecting you from everything – even myself."

Percy gaped up at him again.

"Nico, why didn't you…"

"What? Force myself on you? I'm not my father, Percy."

Percy continued to gape.

"Have you always been this bitter?"

He looked like he wanted to swallow that question as soon as he voiced it. Nico smirked cruelly.

"Yes." he hissed. "Do us both a favor, Jackson. Get out."

That didn't have nearly as much venom behind it as he'd meant for it to.

"No."

"What?"

"No. I'm not leaving you here to wallow in self-pity."

"Pity is not the word I'd use to describe it." Nico grumbled.

"What was that?"

"Why are you doing this, Percy? It's not going to help either one of us."

"Because I l-"

"Do. Not. Say. That. Word." Nico growled. "I do _not_ want to hear about how much of a little brother I am to you right now."

Percy narrowed his eyes, growled, and launched himself at Nico. Nico deliberated between fighting the hero off and just taking the beating he was sure to be given in a moment. Percy grabbed his head and kissed him again.

"I don't see you as a little brother, not anymore, and I'm not fucking with you. I love you too much to do that to you."

Nico stared at him as second before shaking his head.

"And this is where I wake up."

"I'm serious, Nico. It took you vanishing, _again_, for me to realize that I worry about you more than I should if I only think of you as my little brother." Percy wrapped him in a fierce hug. "I was so scared that you were…were dead, Nico, more scared than I was when Annabeth was falling into Tartarus. I was so scared and so guilty because it was all my fault that you were gone and I didn't know if you were alive or dead or hurt and I…"

"Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop,"

"Nico, Nico look at me," Percy forced Nico's head up so they were eye to eye. "I'm _in love_ with _you_. _Annabeth_ is the one that is like a sibling to me. I'm not playing with you. I promise. I swear on the river, Styx, I'm not lying to you."

Nico began to hyperventilate.

"Shh. Shh. Breathe. It's okay. Shh."

"Why?" Nico breathed out.

"Why not? You said so yourself, you've always been there doing what you thought was best for me, protecting me. You're kind and caring and determined, I already said protective, and you're handsome to boot. What's not to love?"

"B-but I'm…"

"If you say freak or disgusting, I will hit you. You are not allowed to think of yourself in those terms anymore, or any other derogatory term for that matter."

"What about Annabeth?" Nico forced the question out.

"We broke up. She was surprisingly understanding; I wouldn't be surprised if she figured it out before I did." The last comment seemed to be more for Percy's ears than Nico's, so the son of Hades ignored it.

Nico wrapped his arms around Percy and buried his head in the crook of his neck as he cried. Percy held him tightly and muttered soothingly in his ear.

"Let's go home." he said once Nico had calmed down.

"Home," Nico hummed, "I'd like that." He held onto Percy tighter.

"Alright, we'll go home, right after you take a nap."

"No!" Nico jolted so quickly he cracked his head on Percy's chin.

"Ow!" both demi-gods whined.

"Nico, what was that about?"

"I can't go to sleep. If I go to sleep, I'll wake up and this will all be a dream."

"Shh. Relax. I'll be right next to you when you wake up."

"Promise?"

Suddenly, he was ten again and his life had just been turned upside down.

"I swear on the river, Styx, I will be right here next to you when you wake up. Now, go to sleep Nico."

Nico conceded somewhat reluctantly. This was his best dream by far…but it would sure hurt in the morning/afternoon/evening when he woke up.

And when he woke up, Percy greeted him with a warm smile, a hug, and a "good morning, beautiful." As he would the morning after that, and the morning after that, and the morning after that…


End file.
